25 Months

Abe is 25 months old today. I had an appointment at Madigan today and it brought back memories of the unknown that we faced daily "Would he still be alive when we returned in the morning" Also "should I keep pumping breast milk for a baby that never will be able to even drink it". I remember one night Chris and Glenn drove back to Bremerton and I had Leanna drive me from the Fisher House back to the NICU in the middle of the night just so I could check on Abe. Calling the nurses just was not enough. I wanted to see my baby and see what medically was going with him. It's been a tough week, situation at my church that made me feel un-welcomed and a secretary at Madigan telling me that since I did not have anyone to watch Abe I would need to come back. Just so you know Madigan is a little over an hour away and gas is $3.47 a gallon and that is Costco gas so probably the best price. There was no way I was coming back. On that note the Madigan appointment was a preconception counseling appointment to determine if there is any medial reason for not having future pregnancies. The good news is there is no reason why I could not have future pregnancies. However it won't be without risks. The earlier a women delivers the increased risk of having another premature delivery. The shape of my uterus is not a contraindication for future pregnancies. However she was not 100% sure it is truly heart shaped since the surgical report from my c-section indicated a deviation. She said the uterus could have been contracting at that time which made it appear that way. She has seen women with heart shaped uterus deliver healthy, full term babies. She put in her note about a pelvic MRI to get a clear yes or no to about the shape of my uterus. My PCM would need to order it. However knowing this would not change the course of treatment so not sure it's worth the trouble. My recurrent UTIs would require daily antibiotics as a preventive measure. The length of the cervical canal would be measured every 2 weeks since shortening is a sign of labor. I think she said this is done only 16-22 weeks. I would not be required to have an amino or a quad screen since this won't change any treatment during pregnancy. An echocardiogram would be done on the developing baby to look for signs of birth defects. I do have PCOS and endometriosis which is not her specialty. These do have an affect on getting pregnant but were not a factor why I delivered so early. She thinks I may have had a uterine infection, like listeria that affected the uterus and not me in any way. I mentioned the cream cheese I ate at the hotel but she said that is not likely. Listeria can be from lunch meat and unpasteurized cheeses. I mentioned the cats in the back of my Jeep that had their litter box while moving from San Diego to WA but she said no signs of toxoplamosis. Plus she said I probably have antibodies against it. Research has shown that progesterone shots can help prevent premature labor and delivery so I would be a candidate for that too. There is no guarantee that there won't be any problems or that I won't deliver early. She did recommend that both Glenn and I are emotionally ready for whatever will happen. A healthy pregnancy does not guarantee a healthy child but even a child born healthy may get in accident or have cancer so you never know. I have heard that special needs kids tend to progress when they have a sibling to share their life with. I think Abe would enjoy someone to crawl around with. Now it is just a matter of when will we both be emotionally ready. Also with PCOS and endometriosis I don't even know if I can get pregnant or not miscarry. Life is too short to live in fear and we have to trust that God would never give us more than we can handle. Abe is progressing, still has significant delays but using both of his hands and trying to sit up. He currently has as a cold but he is at home and not in the hospital. The neurologist did not feel that his EEG showed evidence of seizures. Neurodevelopmental ARNP thinks Abe might be waking up during the night due to hunger or muscle spasms. If he is having muscle spasms then muscle relaxer medication would be prescribed. Abe says “yeah” and “more” sometimes too. For example when asked “is that yummy” “yeah” and sometimes he says “more” when eating. He only knows all done sign. He is working on more signs. I might let him start classes twice a week at Holly Ridge. This would be a class without me in the room unless I am the parent volunteer that day. He is going to be fitted for stander soon.