Tuesday, June 21, 2016

2016 update

I have not posted in almost 2 years, wow time has just flown by. Abe had the SDR surgery almost 2 years. He has tremendous process since. He is able to walk with a walker with stand by assistance to ensure he does not fall down, side step holding onto tables, rails,ect. He is tolerating standing for longer periods of time. He still primarily uses his power wheelchair but recently wanted to use his walker for a Hike It Baby walk. I was so proud of him for wanting to do that. He also did a kids run on the military base in the rain. Eating is still a huge struggle. I am working on getting him a referral to a program in California but it has not been an easy task. He is currently in horseback riding. He also enjoyed 1st grade and AWANA. His favorite Bible verse is Ephesians 6:1 "Children obey your parents". He will often remind Luke about this one. Luke is almost 3 years old. He is very fast at running and enjoys playing outside and swimming lessons. I felt compelled to update this to vent a little. Luke has not had a normal life being a younger sibling of a complex kid. I do try to do things like swimming lessons, park time and preschool for Luke. He is very big for his age which brings me the whole I need to vent part of this blog. He is 2 years old but the size of a 4 year to 5 year old. He screams, kicks, hits, cries ect. He has great verbal skills but being 2 years old he can't always verbalize what exactly he means. Today he called mashed potatoes "tomatoes". I did not have any tomatoes and I was incredibly stressed trying to help Abe eat and not throw his food. Yes by 7 year old throws food. It's annoying and frustrating and I am at my absolute wits end about it. Luke copies some of Abe's undesired behaviors. Meal times are very stressful. To all those in the community that have had a negative comment or judgement to place about my parenting skills, my kid's behaviors YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT THEIR LIVES ARE LIKE SO STOP YOUR NEGATIVE COMMENTS AND JUDGEMENT, that's God's job not yours. I know I am not the only parent that has had negative suggestions or comments made. Mommas are sleep deprived so please provide support to them rather than tear them down or their children. My kid is 2 not 4 years old and he often is riding in his cars seat for hours daily for all of his life to and from therapy appointments, two and from medical appointments for his brother.  For one minute I just ask that you think before you speak to any parent or kid negatively. My 2 year old was screaming at the check out but before you place judgement "that kid needs a spanking", "that kid needs to be taken outside and beat", ect get all the details the punishment for misbehaving was not getting a sand toy which caused the screaming. I completely believe in punishing and yes the screaming was absolutely annoying but trust me for my kid in that situation not letting get the desired toy will have a lasting effect over spanking. He will remember and probably tell me "I did not get the "race track" because I kicked you and screamed". A spanking would have not had a lasting memorable effect on him. So yes I did punish my child but when did what punishment a young kid received become everyone else business any ways?  I also believe in rewarding good behavior and then I am hit with the notion "heck no" expected behavior "keep your food on the table without throwing" is not rewarded. I am learning my boys are very reward motivated. Don't adults or young adults go to work for the reward of earning money and 401K retirement plans and health insurance? Then how is rewarding good behavior for a young child different? I am seriously considering wearing ear plugs so I don't hear other people's negative comments. Even at a bagel shop in Seattle today the lady behind the counter rolled her eyes at the energy my boys had at 615am. They were in their car seats for 2 hours so yes they were probably ready to be wild. I still ordered food there but seeing her reaction to the busyness of my boys made me not want to ever go there again. I should add they were not throwing a fit or screaming at all then either, just running around. I have encountered this lady before there and I never saw her roll her eyes at my in the past. I assume kids are welcome there, I did not see any signs that said otherwise. Maybe I need to have Luke re-evaluated by developmental pediatrician to be sure there are no sensory or other issues that would explain his behaviors. Possible a 2 year old that is constantly in his car seat for his siblings appointments would naturally be more likely to run around a building. I know some days he request to sit watch movies or play with legos. Maybe boys are just naturally all over the place in stores at age 2. If I don't have him in a cart, stroller or a baby carrier I find I am constantly bringing him back to the check stand. Possible with practice he will stay next to me in a store or maybe he just needs more maturity which comes with age. If he continue to scream, hit, pinch and kick as he gets older than there is definitely a problem. That's all I can update now. No idea if anyone even reads this any longer.