Sunday, July 29, 2012

Mr. Strong Will

We knew that Abe had a strong will because he beat the odds from his first day of life. I remember Dr. Long at Madigan calling me and asking if CPR should be continued because and she teared up as she said "he is fighting very hard to not be with us". We said continued and sure enough "Mr. Strong Will" was still fighting to be here on earth when we arrived. We also remember neurology informing us when Abraham was 9 days old that he would be in a vegetative state if he survived at all. We thought about pulling life support so he would have a good quality of life. Well he beat that odd as well. One of the first signs of his strong will was pointed out to me by Sherry Copper, a pastor's wife, that was also staying at the Fisher House. She noticed he was using his other hand to remove the sock so he could pull out his NG tube. That strong will has progressed to him verbalizing "cookie" when we leave PT, OT or ST, since daddy introduced him to the idea that Central Market gives free cookies to kids. Just this past week when we arrived there for his cookie and a few other items he said "no chair" referring to his wheelchair that I had already unpacked, so I offered him to go in a shopping cart. He said "no chair" and "no cart". It became a power struggle so put him back in his car seat and said "fine we are leaving". However I needed something from Central Market so I asked again "chair or cart" He continued to say "no chair" "no cart". I finally decided that I would carry him to the outdoor dinning area while pushing his wheelchair so we could have the discussion in a safer place than the parking lot. I was persistent and firm but gentle and nice. I told him your only 2 options are "chair or cart" what do you want. He finally calmed down and let me put him in the wheelchair and since he decided to behave once inside he got his free cookie. Some days I am not sure how to handle a strong willed kid. I will need to ask my mother if I was a strong willed kid myself. I think I was. I remember kicking walls, crying and screaming as a toddler and preschooler. Guess it is pay back time. I have a book reserved at the library, "Bringing up Boys" that another mom suggested to me. Any advice for dealing with a strong willed developmentally delayed boy?  Some mornings if he is awake before I shower I tell him I am going to take a shower and he says "no shower, no shower, no shower ...". Then he bangs his head on the bathroom floor or shuts my bedroom door and bangs his head there. Abraham's strong will is both a blessing and difficult. He would not be sitting next to me right now and doing amazing if he did not have a strong will. Not sure how potty training will go. He has the added difficult of not being able to stand or walk. His potty seat should be in soon. We requested a different one since the one we went to pick up was scratched up. I will attempt to update this at least monthly or when ever he has has another amazing mile stone

1 comment:

  1. You are doing a very good job in dealing with your strong willed child. Giving him just two choices and not wavering is important and you did it.
    For the tantrums, ignore if possible the undesirable behavior as you do and reward the desirable. Some moms of head bangers move them to a softer surface and let them act out their frustrations there. Keep up the good work.