First day out of NICU

I did not sleep at all last night. Abe let out little cries and his alarm went off all night long. Also the sister of his room mate cried. I don't feel as comfortable pumping at his bedside either. We are by the door near the unit clerk's desk. The other patient's mother, father and baby sister stayed with him. I talked to his family. He is a former premature baby, 25 weeks gestation and he had the brain bleeds. He is 4 and has CP. He can crawl, speak a little bit and eat however he has developmental delays. When I see him I think of how Abe will be at that age. It breaks my heart. This boy interacts with his world so hopefully Abe will too. If he is similar we are going to have to be very patient as a child with special needs will require extra time and care. I did get a little sleep at the Fisher House however not an adequate amount. I am so emotional now because of lack of sleep. I am also concerned about his eyes. A nurse's aide gave him an oxygen blast when she saw him at 87%. I told her that this is normal for him. I am concerned that nurses will give him high oxygen levels even though this is bad on his eyes. All they see is a baby who needs more oxygen. We did move his "low oxygen requirement sign". He has been off the oxygen for 2 days now. I am feeling very guilty about leaving him tonight but I am too emotional to stay tonight. Glenn is much better however he is not healthy enough to visit.